-= i've been misunderstood =-

2005-05-24T08:27:00.000+08:00

itz 8.30 n i'm supposed 2 b werking rite? how to work if all our tings kena move 1 flr? ahakz, so while da movers r moving our tings, i use my fren's comp 2 blog. oni have 10 mins b4 his comp also kena move.

very messy siak. i still dun understand y muz pack lah, label lah, dis lah, dat lah..... when we moving up 1 floor oni. waste time oni. dean said dey muz do dat so da movers can noe whoes tings it is n can put @ da rite place. makes sense jgk ah but still a bit wasting time.

kak long call yest. she said she's cmg back jun 4th. flight not confirm yet. best!

on sat, i went 2 lisa's engagement wif sita. @ 1st i din believe wen she said she getting engage. i tot she was trying 2 make me jeles or test me or wat. but wen i received her card, it seems like the engagement was real so i decide 2 go. din get 2 tok 2 her @ all. we eat awhile, see-see luk-luk den passed da "red pkt" 2 her mother n left. din rili get 2 c lisa but sita said she luk gd. alah, org dah tukar status, mana tak luk gd? ahakz....

aft dat sita n i went 2 bugis 2 shop 4 her brother's bday present den i sent her hme n i went hm 2 change n play soccer wif da guys. played until 9 lidat den all of us rush hme 2 watch da arsenal & man utd match. arsenal won on penalty, which is shit lah coz man u was da better team.

anyway, not my prob coz chelsea top da table 4 premier league!!!!

2005-05-01T11:20:00.000+08:00

da oth dae, when i was wif sri ayu @ bugis, i met sakina. she was wif dis guy n dey were fighting in da middle of bugis junction. den wen she saw me, muka stab siak. kalau boleh sepak, aku dah sepak siul. dah tu, boleh telefon aku cakap baik-baik. anih minah kena panggil perempuan sundal dkt background. terus dia hang up.

i tink sakina is crazy. da mentally crazy kind. gud ting i nvr liked her.

last 2 wks, abg yan brought ibu n abah 2 dinner wif his parents. i din go lah. i went 2 lau pa sat wif sita, da guys n their gf.tgh bising-bising kat sana, ibu called n asked me if sita was my gf! ahakz, dey were @ lau pa sat also! so da guys, their gf n sita went over 2 say hi. ibu notice i din ans her qn so wen we went hme, she asked again n i juz said dat i'm not attached. shd haf seen her face, so disappointed.

den on mon wen i ask her wat she wanted for mother's day, she said, "mak nak tgk engkau ada matair jer." apa siak! abih boleh ckp dia tak pressure aku. dia cuma nak tgk aku kahwin, blablabla. ni bukan pressure ke? aft dat, she din ask me again so i oso din say anything. she noe i dun like to be asked dis tings ah.

i hvnt sms jasmin @ laz wk. hvnt sms sri ayu oso. den lisa called yest 2 bual-bual. konon dah ader bf, nak tunang, nak invite aku kat dier nyer engagement lah. juz told her dat she can sms me da date, time n her add n if i can make it, i will go. mcm bastard gitu kan aku nyer answer? but i dun care lah. pompuan mcm dia n sakina, not worth keeping as frens coz dey sure will try sthg funny.

kak long called da oth time n she said she'll prolly b back by end of dis mth. aft kak long call, i tink she call abg yan coz he came over 2 bring us out 2 buy tings 4 kak long's return. konon mcm welcum back gift gitu ah. ahakz. another 30 more daes siak, siang beli hadiah? ahakz.

abt werk.... we all rented one more flr n my dept will b moving der coz itz more spacious. so now my place very messy fr packin n all dat. den oso i lost sum tings n had 2 unpack da stuff 2 check if itz der den pack again. we moving end of da mth. i hate all dis moving, noe. kerja tak jln nyer case. kalau bleh move, takyah pack kan bagus. apa nak pack-pack siul? baru 1 flr up. tu ah, skrg aku bingit sikit kat tempat keje. sumer pasal nak move ni lah. mengarut siak, baru 1 flr nak pack dlm kotak lah, label lah. waste time jer.

klah, got 2 go now. meeting da guys n playing soccer, dah lama tak main soccer.

2005-05-01T03:50:00.000+08:00

finally can find a metallica template. aku carik.... bertahun-tahun siak! ahakz..

klah, tired ready so going to slp. i will blog again later, got alot to say.

2005-03-09T20:37:00.000+08:00

evasince my template was lost, i din haf da mood 2 blog. see my blog like so farking ugly but yet i cannot find time to actually seat down and search/make a template. leceh siak! aniwae, kak long juz called n we all tokked wif her for a long time. she wun b back anytime dis mth or nx mth but she sae mebe in june she'll be back in s'pore oredi. such a good tot.

nuting much has been happening lar. oni da oth time i tokked abt sita starting 2 intro me 2 her family n it scared me. well, it happened again so i told her dat we're juz frens rite as now? and she said she noes dat but she always intros her guy frens to her fam so dat dey noe wich guy she hangs out wif n dey wun worrie. klakar siak minah! ahakz. so tings wif us r juz frens now. potential eh, hu noes?

neway, i juz got home fr dinner wif dis gal i met @ da tp open hse. her name is jasmin n she's in sec 4 dis yr. underaged siak!! so datz y itz oni dinner n i tink i'll not contact her so often. nanti kena apa2, aku jgk dpt malu.

2005-02-28T13:05:00.000+08:00

fuck. deleted template accidentally. takder mood nak cari baru. pergi lunch skrg. bye.

2005-02-27T02:57:00.000+08:00

still online lar. cannot sleep. went out wif sita n her cousin n her cousin's bf juz now. macam double date gitu lah. somehow, da thought dat sita is starting to intro me to her family members scares me coz i oso dunno where our frenship is heading to. so if dey all got da wrong idea, habis aku.

2005-02-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

was watching da mtv asia aid show juz now and it seemed like der was too many taiwanese/chinese publicity, not dat i'm racist or anything. i juz tink dat m'sian, indonesian and even local malay n eng artiste not so publicised. dis year's mtv asia awards converted to mtv asia aid to help da tsunami victims. i tink mtv is doing a gud job.

was comparing dis yr's award to last yr's. prefer last yr's becoz i tink s'pore did it better. minus da stupid angels/saints shit dat come out. dat one was stupid. neway, i like da concept dat dey had last yr. asian artist n international one collaborating, 1 performance i like was da ct nurhaliza n gareth gates one. change my opinion of ct nurhaliza totally. now i dun tink she's a minah kampung type anymore. ahakz!

say it isn't so - gareth gates

Skies are dark it's time for rain

Final call you board the train

Heading for tomorrow

I wave goodbye to yesterdays

Wipe the tears you hide your face

Blinded by the sorrow

How can I be smiling like before

When baby, you don't love me anymore

Say it isn't soTell me you're not leaving

Say you changed your mind now

That I am only dreaming

That this is not goodbye

This is starting over

If you wanna knowI don't wanna let go

So say it isn't so

Ten to five atleast we tried

We're still alive but hope just died

As they close the door behind you

Whistle blows and tons of steel

Shake the ground beneath the wheels

As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when you're gone

Will I be strong enough to carry on

Miles and miles to go before I can say,

Before I can lay my love for you to sleep

Oh, darling oh

I got miles and miles to go

Before anyone will ever hear

Me laugh again

dis was da song dey sang n ct nurhaliza did a good job.

2005-02-19T20:53:00.000+08:00

watching da chinggay now n my fren's bro was one of da breakdancers. dah besar siak budak! ahakz.

2005-02-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

juz got hme. todae was alrite, i tink. went to sri ayu's sch 1st coz it was da open hse. ramai minah n mats der, cannot foresee dem all schooling in a poly. ahakz.

den i saw irda der. we chatted for awhile n den went our separate ways. met sri ayu at their engineering sch n made our way 2 da biz sch coz she had 2 help out 2dae. while i waited for her outside one of da rooms, i met my neighbour's son. berbual skejap, sempat aku check out dier nyer gf. jambu siak!

while waiting, i walked ard by myself and managed to cuci mata a lot. so many jambu chicks there and i even made frens wif dis babe who was at da engineering sch. ahakz, sempat siak! finally, about 3 oclock like dat me n sri ayu left da sch. u noe, i met irda again and she look so good dat i cannot resist but stare. n sri ayu din even notice. or mebe pretend not to notice. din go up to irda coz she was wif a guy n dey look very chummy together. mebe itz her bf or a potential but wadeva, i din go up to her so i dunno. n strangely, i din feel as sad n also it din spoil my day.

sri ayu n me went 2 orchard for dinner n den accompany her shopping. a bit boring dae so datz why i'm home early. sri ayu doesnt seem as bimbo as last time. mebe coz she's opening up 2 me and not "anything-anything" everytime i ask her sthg. datz a gd ting lah.

yest my dinner wif sita was a good one. altho it was only at simei's banquet but sita's always a fun person to be wif and we hung out until almost midnite.

tomoro, no plans but most prolly going to accompany parents 2 toa payoh for sum jemputan. or if not, go play soccer wif da guys.

2005-02-18T16:36:00.000+08:00

shoutbox is up again but seems like mine is da oni one not up yet. wat, dey got sthg against me izit? siak ajer.

neway, later going out wif sita. tomoro wif sri ayu. a bit not looking forward to dat coz we going to her sch's open house 1st before going out together. not dat i dun like open houses. but itz damn boring siak! wad to do there? cuci mata ajer lah yang worth it.

some jiwang song playing on da radio now. cannot rem da song. stupid song coz it brings memories...... dammit.

2005-02-18T13:01:00.000+08:00

apa siak, tagboard not werking. refresh punya refresh punya refresh, mcm sial ajer. tak bleh tag orang.

hmm, dah lama tak blog. so many reasons but all lame ones. 1) lazy. 2) busy. 3) internet down. 4) busy dating! ahakz!

oklah, dis is wad i've been up to da past few weeks:

go work. go out. sleep. (repeat banyak2 kali) really. macam singapore ni dah takder apaper nak buat dah. everyday itz da same old, same old ting. go work, go home. or go work, go out den go home. weekends, family time or play soccer. boring siak. 1 dae, i wan go perth visit kak long. take 1 week leave and lepak giler. den i will blog abt da difference btw sg and down under eh?

ni confirm takder kerja lain nak buat lah ni.

now going to lunch with my junior beb. ahakz!

2005-01-23T14:47:00.000+08:00

friday was chaotic on mak's side. relatives fr jb all came down and when we reached nenek's hse, it was noisy + crowded. kecoh siak!! da nite b4, kak long called n all of us were tokking. mcm braper punya lama lah dah tak jumper dier. but i admit dat i miss her lar. esp. when all da makciks n pakciks n sedare-sedare ask abt her.

on abah's side, it was also kecoh but not as kecoh as at mak's side. we all reached home on sat morn. ahakz, mcm mana tak penat?

sat was soccer day. played soccer wif da guys in da afternoon den watched premier league @ nite. chelsea won 3-0 against portsmouth and maintained their stop at da top of da table. and pantatz, man utd now caught up wif arsenal to gain 2nd spot. but nvr mind, better to beat man utd to da top spot than arsenal. arsenal team taik ayam ajer, mana ada glory siak kalau menang aganst dem! ahakz, bias siak aku.

anyway, later going out wif sri ayu. was smsing random ppl yest n sumhow we chatted for awhile n made plans 4 2day. long time din go out wif her. n lisa, long time din communicate wif her but i tink i prefer it dat way. as for sita, terserempak her yest wif her parents so it was oni "hi, bye". we're mtg tomoro for dinner.

erm, datz all, nuting much happening so far.

2005-01-20T15:58:00.000+08:00

on leave today, konon nak tolong mak aku siap-siapkan utk besok ah. banyak aku punya tolong. bangun pukul 10, terus main bola lepas tu. ahakz! tapi sempat ikut mak dgn ayah aku pergi pasar. baru balik, nanti sekejap lagi nak pergi rumah nenek.

selamat hari raya aidiladha semuer.

2005-01-18T22:54:00.000+08:00

update.....

2004

24/12 send kak long off on xmas eve. will see her in 6 mths time, maybe less and maybe more. hope it's da "maybe less" part. abg long comes over for dinner wif us every sat.

31/12 my junior started working @ my company. very babe. ahakz....

2005

12/1 22nd bdae. nobody remembered except parents n kak long. she bought me a nokia 7270 which she hide under her bed b4hand.

13/1 irda's 22nd bdae. forgot abt it + felt guilty, especially bila dia ingat aku nyer bdae. owe her dinner but still havent confirm.

14/1 got confirmation ltr and salary go up by $100. went out wif sita 2 celebrate.

2dae juz got home fr dinner + pool wif da guys.

in btw, was bz wif werk. 2 ppl resigned coz of further studies so now i do 2 ppl's werk until dey find a new person. one starting tomoro and da oth 1 starting nx mth. no gf yet lah, sangy. u intro ah mana-mana babe yg u tahu! ahakz!

2004-12-22T21:02:00.000+08:00

i met my junior from sec sch juz now. she was at my wrkplace for an interview juz now and she was damn excited when she saw me in da lift. she's still a babe and i got her no. eheh.....

2004-12-20T19:53:00.000+08:00

had dinner wif sita juz now. it was juz a short dinner @ s-11, tamp interchange. we've been mtg 4 dinner everyday for the past week n she's a gd companion 2 hve. she noes a lot abt guy stuff, watches soccer, not afraid 2 try out new food n is not da kinda gal who's afraid of putting on weight or worries abt her looks too much, much like irda. but more of da emotional version n a bit too gentle n soft spoken version also. at da moment, she's juz a fren n mebe a potential gf. mebe oni.

kak long will b flying off 2 perth nx week but da flight details hv not been confirmed yet. most prob if da flight is in da morn or late aft, i'll take unpaid half day leave since i'm not a confirmed employee yet. hve tokked 2 my supervisor abt dis n he has agreed.

kak long will b away for 6 mths. i wonder hw life 4 us will b for tt 6 mths when she isnt ard. n abg long.... he'll sure miss her da way we will. their wedding has been brought fwd 2 december nx yr insted of 2006 for 2 reasons. 1) itz coz 2006 is world cup season so not a good idea 2 prepare 4 a wedding den. 2) da renovations 4 their hse will begin in early feb n will definitely b ready by dec. so no point leaving da hse empty. wasted also.

speaking of da renovations, since kak long is away, she has asked me n abg long's cousin 2 help look over everything. abg long's cousin is an interior designer so i tink she's a gd choice 2 leave everything to. i still dunno why she asked me as well, most prob coz i noe best wat she wants.

klah, aku nak pergi nonton tv. besok, kena overtime plak so niari tido siang2. ahakz, mcm btol jer......

2004-12-20T18:10:00.000+08:00

juz a short observation/update before i knock off.

derz dis colleague of mine who sounds like siti nurhaliza, sings a little like her and even her name is almost similar - siti harleeza. ahakz, i bet she was teased a lot when siti nurhaliza first came out!

2004-12-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

hmmm........... v. meaningful song.

my boo - usher & alicia keys

[Usher intro:]

There's always that one person

That will always have your heart

You'll never see it coming

Cause you're blinded from the start

Know that you're that one for me

It's clear for everyone to see

Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

[Alicia intro:]

I don't know bout cha'll

But I know about us and uh

This is the only way

We know how to rock

I don't know bout cha'll

But I know about us and uh

This is the only way

We know how to rock

[Usher verse:]

Do you remember girl

I was the one who gave you your first kiss

Cause I remember girl

I was the one who said put your lips like this

Even before all the fame and

People screaming your name

Girl I was there when you were my baby

[Chorus:]

[Usher:]

It started when we were younger

You were mine my boo

Now another brother's taking over

But its still in your eyes my boo

Even though we used to argue it's alright

I know we haven't seen each other

In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia:]

I was in love with you when we were younger

You were mine my boo

And I see it from time to time

I still feel like my boo

And I can see it no matter

How I try to hide my boo

Even though there's another man who's in my life

You will always be my boo

[Alicia verse:]

Yes I remember boy

Cause after we kissed

I could only think about your lips

Yes I remember boy

The moment I knew you were the one I could spend my life with

Even before all the fame

And people screaming your name

I was there and you were my baby

[Chorus:]

[Usher:]

It started when we were younger

You were mine my boo

Now another brother's taking over

But its still in your eyes my boo

Even though we used to argue it's alright

I know we haven't seen each other

In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia:]

I was in love with you when we were younger

You were mine my boo

And I see it from time to time

I still feel like my boo

And I can see it no matter

How I try to hide my boo

Even though there's another man who's in my life

You will always be my boo

[Usher:]

My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

[Alicia:]

My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

[Chorus:]

[Usher:]

It started when we were younger

You were mine my boo

Now another brother's taking over

But its still in your eyes my boo

Even though we used to argue it's alright

I know we haven't seen each other

In awhile but you will always be my boo

[Alicia & Usher:]

I don't know bout cha'll

But I know about us and uh

This is the only way

We know how to rockI don't know bout cha'll

But I know about us and uh

This is the only way

We know how to rock

2004-12-04T10:03:00.000+08:00

i tink all of us r closing shop on da jalan raya ting oredi. yest, aft work, i went out rayaing wif da guys n we finished evryting abt 2 am. fucking tired but couldnt sleep well so datz why i'm oredi up @ 10 am.

da oth day, i met her on da train we tokked all da way till her station. laz time we made plans 2 go out aft hari raya but since we were on da topic, tot i'd take a chance n ask her if we cld go out anytime soon. n we're miting tomoro. she was saying abt sum weddings she has 2 attend but dat she wld b free aft dat. so i will get 2 see her in baju kurung aft a long time hvnt see her in it.

later 2day i'm miting sita n we're going 2 parkway. long time since i been der. mebe abt 5-6 years ago. i wonder if dat place has changed. mebe it has. sedangkan tampines evry year ada perubahan, apa lagi parkway?

anyway, on 2 soccer. fucking gd news dat chelsea is top of da table n 5 clear points fr arsenal. dey're also 9 clear points fr man u. seems like chelsea finally has a chance 2 b crowned da champs dis time ard. tapi aku kesian man u jgk. beli pemain2 bagus-bagus, masih tak bleh top. their performance rili sliding n datz gd news 4 oth clubs' supporters.

later 2nite, muz watch da chelsea match, da arsenal match n da man u match. sumhw, i find myself hoping dat man u will win n arsenal will lose. much better 2 compete agnst man u, dat ppl always tink of as a legend club. so if man u is 2nd n we're 1st, it'll luk like we're da ones who toppled dem. but if dey continue 2 b 4th or 5th, den oth clubs also hv toppled dem. publicity stunt, kirakan!

klah, aku nak try tido. nanti kul 1 dah kena siap2.

2004-11-27T01:36:00.000+08:00

ahakz, everyone's fave phrase but wif a twist:

The original version ..

If you love someone,Set her free,If she comes back, she's yours,If she doesn't, she never was...

The New Versions ..

Pessimist:If you love someone,Set her free...If she ever comes back, she's yours,If she doesn't, as expected, she never was.

Shakespeare: If you love someone,Set her free...If she ever comes back, she's yours,If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide yourself for her.

Optimist: If you love someone,Set her free...Don't worry, she will come back. Suspicious:If you love someone,Set her free...If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient: If you love someone,Set her free...If she doesn't comes back within some time, forget her.

Patient: If you love someone,Set her free...If she doesn't come back,Continue to wait until she comes back...

Playful: If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, and if you love her still, Set her free again,

Computer Programmer: if( you - love(m_she) ) m_she.free() if( m_she == NULL ) m_she = new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist: If you love someone,Set her free,In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers: If you love someone,Set her free,Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment
of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that....

Bill Gates: If you love someone,Set her free,If she comes back, I think we can charge herfor re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

Biologist: If you love someone,Set her free,She'll evolve.

Statisticians: If you love someone,Set her free,If she loves you, the likelihood of her comingback is high, If she doesn't, the Weibull distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans: If you love someone,Set her free,SHE'LL BE BACK!

Salesman: If you love someone,Set her free...If she ever comes back, deal!If she doesn't, so what! "NEXT".

Insurance agent: If you love someone,Show her the plan...If she ever comes back, sign her up,If she doesn't, keep follow up with her and never give up!

Physicist: If you love someone,Set her free...If she ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,If she doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle of collision between twoobjects did not synchronize at the right angle.

Mathematician: If you love someone,Set her free...If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),If she doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c is the infiniteconstant of no turning point.

bastard siak! ahakz.

2004-11-24T23:36:00.000+08:00

ok, as promised i am blogging. erm, wat hve i been up to? a lot ah. i start wif laz wk.

mon & tues was celebrating raya, like everyone else den back to work on wed. da rest of da week din go anywhere until fri. went out wif my family sebelah mak aft work n we raya till almost midnite. on sat, was supposed to go raya wif my family again but since everybody was tired, we juz sat hm & waited 4 guests 2 come over. not many came over so we were not so tired lah. on sun, went out again wif da family.

all in all laz week, i receive abt $63 and gave out $60 ($30 to each grandparent). sum relatives still gv me duit raya but most jump @ da chance to not gv. but i expected dat lar. @ least better than kak long. she forked out dunno hw many hundred dollars dis yr coz we had 5 new cousins! HAHAHAHAHA!

eh, aku ketawa nanti bila aku punya turn nak bagi duit raya, aku pun bankrupt! tapi takper, 3 of my cousins graduated oredi so by nx yr dey prob wld hv started work. so if i begin gvg out duit raya, it will b 3 less ppl to gv to!!!!!

oh, n dis week will prob continue jalan raya again. i noe dis fri we're gng out wif cik pe'ah n her family to raya @ my 2nd cousins' hse sebelah bapak. knowing dem, most prob sampai besok pagi berjalan. i still hvnt gone out wif da guys yet n we are all waiting 4 a good time tt we r all free. silap2, nx week baru bleh jln raya sama2. den i got a kad raya from lisa n she invited me n family over 2 her hse. mebe will go but see 1st lah; when i hve da time. she is not as irritating as sakina so i hve no reason to dislike her wat. except mebe her character but since she's not a potential gf anymore, i dun care.

other than beraya, i hvnt had any other ting to update on. been busy wif work coz i had to cover duties for 2 ppl (including my own). itz oni dis week dat most of dem r coming back fr leave so relax sikit. during puasa, din go out much at da last 2 weeks. work, terawih, preparation all took up my time. in fact, hvnt had time 2 chat wif marsita @ all altho we do sms.

she's a very entertaining person. can carry conversation well also n has ideas of her own altho she never tries to impose dem on me. so far, hve oni gd tings to say abt her so i dun tink we noe each oth well yet but we r working on dat. not dat i'm looking to go into a r'ship wif her la. juz get to noe her better.

i'm 21 n kak long has been hinting. so hve da relatives. i tot wif kak long's oncoming wedding late nx yr or early 2006, focus will b on her n not me but i was wrong. nvm, i'm not affected yet. i believe in qada' n qadar.

"if u luv sumone, let her go. if she cums back 2 u den u're meant 2 b together. if not, den she was nvr meant 2 b urs in da 1st place." well, i let her go once n she came back. den i let her go again, so where shd i go fr here?

2004-11-24T14:54:00.000+08:00

niari aku mc. baru balik doktor kul 10 pastu tido satu hari. tak larat nak bangun tapi terpaksa bangun pasal ibu dah bising2 suroh makan ubat. skrg tak bleh tido balik jadi aku ingat nak tukar layout ah. takeder inspiration tapi, jadi aku gunakan ni dulu.

malas plak nak blog. nanti mlm aku blog lagi. nak tido.

2004-11-24T10:27:00.000+08:00

will blog again tonite!

2004-11-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

(dis entry i actually drafted da oth time but din publish. slenger)

dis is juz a filler entry. my fave lagu-lagu raya. slamat hari rayer sumer!

Suara Takbir - P Ramlee

Dengar beduk berbunyi
Sayup bergema di subuh sunyi
Memanggil kepada muslimin
Segera berbakti kepada Illahi

Suara azan menyahut
Terdengar sayup memecah sunyi
Memohon restu dengan bakti
Kepada Illahi Tuhan Maha Suci

( korus )
Terdengar suara takbir
Memuji nama Illahi
Rasa dalam kalbu
Tenteram dan aman selalu

Kini tiba masanya
Hati gembira di Hari Raya
Bertemu sanak dan saudara
Bermaaf-maafan dengan keikhlasan
( ulang dari korus )

----------

Musafir Di Aidil Fitri - S Jibeng

Gema takbir di subuh hari
Menjelang sudah aidil fitri
Tapi hamba musafir diri
Ke sana sini membawa diri

Ayah ibu lamalah pergi
Pergi menyahut seruan Illahi
Tinggal hamba seorang diri
Tiada siapa ingin hampiri

( korus )
Oh Tuhan Yang Maha Kaya
Hamba menangis di pagi raya
Aidil fitri hari bahgia
Tapi hamba dilanda derita

Pusara ayah dan juga ibu
Di pagi bahgia hamba kunjungi
Dengarlah ini ratapan anakmu
Hamba musafir di aidil fitri

2004-11-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

v. bz lately coz had 2 do 3 ppl's work. 6 of dem going on leave so i n 2 others r da oni ones left in our dept. each of us taking 2 ppl's beban. macam takder social life skrg. hari raya pun tak dapat cuit. siak ajer.

2004-11-01T22:39:00.000+08:00

how fucking sick. one pic can spoil da whole day.

hiatus.

2004-11-01T22:26:00.000+08:00

2day was..... nice...? no, too mild. 2day was v. v. nice. she has a nice name - marsita. n she has a nice voice. n tomoro, we're mtg again.

2004-11-01T05:42:00.000+08:00

i saw a babe when i went to geylang serai yest. she kept looking @ me oso. but we passed each oth without me sounding her. den i met her again at da bus stop. fate? i dunno. but we exchanged numbers. we're going out later.

i chatted wif sri ayu on sat. she's still like a bimbo in my opinion. she toks of nutin but clothes, shoes n oth tings. no kick chatting wif her - no important tings to tok abt, i mean. n yet, she's doing biz @ tp. dun u need brains 2 b in dat course? esp if u are one of da few top students? i dunno, mebe she's one of those hu tink dat cher ala clueless turns all men on.

i met sakina in da bus on fri. i was coming hm fr terawih den. she juz got hme fr geylang. we din tok coz i pretended not to see her. anyway, she had a guy wif her but she still tried getting my attention like laughing loudly. too bad she din get it until da last stop b4 da interchange. ahakz! i tink we tokked abt....... eh.... cannot rem. abah was wif me so i could escape by pretending abah n i need 2 rush hme.

erm, yah. mon (2day la) - going out wif da gal i met, sita. tues - no plans. wed - go out wif kak long n abg long 2 get sum ideas for their hse. thurs - buka rumah nenek. fri - no plans n cannot make any.

siak ajer. boring siak.

2004-10-28T04:51:00.000+08:00

laz nite, i had a long chat wif kak long. very very long chat. it continued until juz now for sahur. i told kak long everything. and i mean everything dat i blog abt here. sometimes, i suspect kak long read my blog bcoz certain tings she said, i nv told any1 else b4 but she noes.

kak long gave me a very good advice dat is a bit cliche but i tink it will work in my case. "wen u luv sumone, let her go. if she returns, she's meant 2 b wif u. if not, u're not meant 2 b together." i dun believe it but as a muslim, i haf 2 believe in qada' & qadar.

2004-10-25T21:49:00.000+08:00

kak long, kak long..... maner lah kau?

aku skrg tgh bingit dgn adrian mutu ni. yg dier pegi amik cocaine ni asal? buat malu chelsea nyer team ajer. dah bagus lah kalo dier kena buang. aku pun rasa dier buat sibuk jer, kalau bagus takper jgk. it's proven per. w/o him, chelsea can beat blackburn 4-0. 4-0 siak! tak pernah-pernah!

abih aku baca yg nistelrooy nak kena review pasal foul kat ashley cole dlm smlm nyer match. ah, padan muka. benci siak si dektu. apa, dier ingat dier dgn man utd, byk nyer bagus? tapi takper, man utd kalahkan arsenal pun bagus jgk ah.

anyway, i'm waiting for kak long to come hom. nak bobual ngan dier.

2004-10-25T17:41:00.000+08:00

ahakz, aku baru perasan yg aku ada internet excess. mcm siak! ok, update jap sambil tunggu kul 6 bleh blah.

tadi waktu sahur, kak long tanya aku asal aku suka sgt dgn lisa. kenapa aku tak dgn irda. if oni she knew! anyway, aku tak jawab. pagi-pagi tanya soalan bodoh siak, tak kisah nak jawab. skrg aku rasa serba salah. takper, nanti balik bleh bobual dgn dier.

aku dah start keje, last monday dah aku start. so far, ok ah. bleh tahan. tmpt makan pun byk, so bila buka atau lepas bulan puasa, takyah susah carik makan. cuma problem dier nyer office hrs. 8-6 siul, takleh angkat ah 1st week. tapi aku tgk org kat sini sumer happy n aku baca handbook dier, benefits very good, boleh lah. tak cerewet. asal dpt duit halal, aku ok.

k, aku nak blah.

2004-10-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

very tired. work, terawih, work, terawih. update again later. meanwhile, a haunting song n sum verses apply 2 my life rite now:

forgive me - evanescence

Can you forgive me again?

I don't know what I said

But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out

I felt that I would die

It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me

You're not shouting anymore

You're silently broken

I'd give anything now to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."

But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

'Cause you were made for me

Somehow I'll make you see

How happy you make me

I can't live this life

Without you by my side

I need you to survive

So stay with me

You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry

And you forgive me again

You're my one true friend

And I never meant to hurt you

2004-10-17T05:25:00.000+08:00

lisa's a disease. i duno why i din see dat b4. oni a person like her can read my sms and call me a billion times in da middle of da nite, demanding an explanation. now i cant slp coz i had to layan her da whole damn nite. now waiting for subuh so can pray den maybe sleep.

it's over wif us. she's not even a fren, much less a potential gf. a fren = sumone i can trust. sumone who doesnt critic ppl dey duno. sumone who doesnt judge ppl from wad dey read.

ride out bitch - vaux

You can't hold on to the air I'm breathing

Why can't you just get over it

And you can not have the sights I'm seeing

Why can't you just get over it

We walk the line and then you slip

The last time, I'm over it

Walk the line and then you slip

The last time, I'm over it

Want it, cause it feels so good

It's in the way I see it

Tried to leave it, no one could

You've been erased, deleted

This is how our parting sounds

It's not to be repeated

The more I look, the less I've found

All bets are off, you cheated

I'm gonna ride away

This masquerade is spent

Cause all the feelings fade

You can't fill in for all I've needed

Why can't you just get over it

And you do not act the way you're treated

Why can't you just get over it

We walk the line and then you slip

The last time, I'm over it

Walk the line and then you slip

The last time, I'm over it

Want it, cause it feels so good

It's in the way I see it

Tried to leave it, no one could

You've been erased, deleted

This is how our parting sounds

It's not to be repeated

The more I look, the less I've found

All bets are off, you cheated

Want it, cause it feels so good

It's in the way I see it

Tried to leave it, no one could

You've been erased, deleted

This is how our parting sounds

It's not to be repeated

The more I look, the less I've found

All bets are off, you cheated.

2004-10-16T15:22:00.000+08:00

i hvnt spoken 2 lisa or sms her 4 a long time. den dis morn she sms me n asked if i was avoiding her. perasaan. why wld i avoid her? i juz told her dat i wasnt avoiding her, i was ignoring her. no reply since. fine by me.

anyway, in reply to sangylicious tag, yes i oredi accepted da offer. starting on mon. so dat means hari raya i am wif a job. does dat mean i hafta gv duit raya? nolah, dun tink so. i'll follow kak long n give dem oni wen i've settled down properly into my job.

2004-10-15T22:43:00.000+08:00

dun tink will b able 2 blog as often for dis bulan puasa.

juz got a very good job offer yest. good pay, good location, good benefits. da oni prob is i work fr 8-6 but datz no prob. juz cannot lepak so often, mebe weekends oni. sat oso working 1/2 day.

now dat itz bulan puasa, will go terawih after buka. after work, buka, den go terawih. do i hv time for blogging? mebe, mebe not. aniwae, nutin much 2 blog also. sure boring wif work n all dat.

so, salamz all. see u again da nx time i blog.

2004-10-09T19:18:00.000+08:00

yest kak long n i had dinner wif irda. itz an unplanned one coz we were supposed to meet 2day. kak long n i were @ courts da TM branch wen i saw irda so i called out to her. we tokked 4 awhile den kak long came over coz she recognised irda so she invited her 2 hv dinner wif us.

kak long enjoyed irda's company alot. anyway, da 2 of dem hv da same interests so not surprising. actually din hv much time 2 chat wif her but still it was a gd day. a bit disappointed dat we did not meet 2day as planned but we're still mtg during bulan puasa, so itz ok ah.

2day, whole day spent playing soccer wif da guys. nx week whole week filled wif interviews. abit bingit oredi wif all these interviews coz nutin seems 2 cum out of it even tho da interviewers r impressed wif my achievements. wonder if it all comes down to da fact dat i'm a mly.

2004-10-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

WTH?!?!?!?! chelsea is oni 2nd on da table? waddahell man. nvm, juz da start of da p'ship so dun hafta worry. @ least man u is 4th. suckerz! oct 16, wad day is tt? fri i tink. i'm watching tt match wif man city. i hv a feeling tt chelsea will win but cnt b too confident yt. man city is actually better than man u. juz tt dey dun hv enuf publicity + endorsement.

16 oct, 16 oct. watch out arsenal. stay away man u!

2004-10-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

by da way, we're mtg on sat.

2004-10-06T21:12:00.000+08:00

class 95 kps playing all da jiwang songs 2day. lyk as if da dj trying 2 jeer @ my lack of luv life. neway, was switching stations back n forth wen i heard aerosmith's i dun wanna miss a ting on class 95. been a long time since i last heard dat song. my cd now @ da back of da cupboard oredi. tink i chucked it der wen she n i were gng thru bad times. yah, it was a gift fr her. my song 4 her was i dun wanna miss a ting oso. brought back memories wen i heard da song. yes, we had good times.

i don't wanna miss a thing - aerosmith

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you're far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Well, every moment spent with you

Is a moment I treasure

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream would never do

I'd still miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you

Feeling your heart beating

And I'm wondering what you're dreaming

Wondering if it's me you're seeing

Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together

And I just wanna stay with you

In this moment forever, forever and ever

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream would never do

I'd still miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna miss one smile

I don't wanna miss one kiss

Well, I just wanna be with you

Right here with you, just like this

I just wanna hold you close

Feel your heart so close to mine

And just stay here in this moment

For all the rest of time

Don't wanna close my eyes

Don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream would never do

'Cause I'd still miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

I don't wanna close my eyes

I don't wanna fall asleep

'Cause I'd miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

'Cause even when I dream of you

The sweetest dream would never do

I'd still miss you, baby

And I don't wanna miss a thing

Don't wanna close my eyes

Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah

I don't wanna miss a thing

2004-10-05T22:21:00.000+08:00

juz came home fr da airport. we sent abg shah off to uk for his studies. he wun b back for 4 yrs. will miss him.

2004-10-04T20:20:00.000+08:00

juz came home after a week @ mak buyut's hse. we all stayed over there to help wif da 2nd kenduri arwah n doa slamat for abg shah who's flying off tomoro to further his studies. so, been rili bz last week altho no interviews scheduled. now so damn tired since din hv enuff sleep da past few days.

yest supposed 2 go out wif irda again but both of us last min got sthg on so kena cancel. a bit disappointed but itz not like i'll nv see her again. yest oso i spoke to lisa n asked her whether she rem kak long. she finali admitted dat she rem kak long but din dare acknowledge her coz afraid dat kak long will sindir her. sort of gave me a diff perspective on her, esp when she asked me abt my ex. she kept asking me qns abt her n it pissed me off @ 1 point coz she seemed to be putting her down. yah, i noe ppl may tink i pissed coz itz irda she's putting down but itz also coz she's putting down 1 of my frens. i noe a lot of ppl who'll kp their comments to demselves unless rili pestered for a comment. i dun tink lisa's a good person 2 b in a r'ship wif anyway.

kak long came home abt an hour ago and she had good news 4 us. she wun hafta b posted abroad until aft hari raya, so dis yr our family still complete for hari raya. dis sat, we all will b shopping for baju raya. am happier now 2 noe dat kak long will b ard for raya.

2004-09-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

smlm aku penat sgt sampai tak leh fikir apa nak blog siul. niari, pasal aku tak penat, aku blog pjg-pjg.

ok, yest i went out wif irda 2 causeway point. actually we met in da early afternoon den she went for tuition n i went 2 play soccer @ joe's hse, wif sum of da oth guys. we met again in da evening for our date @ warnaria cafe. very nice food. very nice ambience. we tokked abt alot of tings n we joked a lot oso, like old times. den we walked ard 4 awhile b4 i sent her home.

she told me she enjoyed herself n i told her da same ting. i like it tt tings btw us r cool nw.

went home n juz cnt stop tinking abt my day. i tink i still luv her bt 2 b realistic, itz too soon 2 say. kak long realised da change in me n asked if i had been out wif lisa again. wich den reminded me 2 ask her why she seemed 2 dislike lisa. of coz, i juz told kak log dat i played soccer wif da guys n den went out wif a fren. i swore 2 her i wasnt out wif lisa. truth wad! anyway i found out why kak long seems to hv sth against lisa.

lisa turned out 2 b kak long's student a long time ago. i cnt rili rem wad happened bt i oni rem dat kak long had probs wif dat student's parents lah. abt dem not paying her da tuition money n keep cancelling classes. well, itz a bit of a realisation for me. dat i dun rili noe lisa's family well; in fact, i dun tink i noe lisa after wad kak long told me. but i may be biased or narrow-minded coz of wad kak long said n also coz i juz went out wif my ex so i'm pushing lisa away.

tried calling lisa since dis morn bt she hasnt been picking up her calls so i cnt b bothered. juz wanted 2 clarify tings wif her n oso go out wif her tomoro. but since she din respond, i wun bother. anyway, i had an interview in da evening so i concentrated preparing for dat. it went fine lar, nutin much 2 rem abt it. i tink mebe i've been gng 4 too much interviews 2 rem which ones i liked n all. shit, datz not gd siak. so many interviews yet no proper offer yet. dammit. cnt juz slack anymore n finishing da beras @ home. aku rasa aku amik part time job lagi bagus daripada lepak kat rumah. kawan aku yg baru ORD dah dpt start kerja minggu depan. siul lah!

besok aku free sgt. takder plan, takder interview. boleh lepak kat rumah japz den pegi rumah syed, main game baru dier. mungkin pergi rumah mak buyut n tolong dier dgn mengecat rumah dier. supposed 2 go on fri nite bt starting out early wun hurt rite? besides, am lkg fwd 2 see sri ayu again. mebe can go out wif her. u noe, give her another chance. if she's still like a display item 2 me, i'll give her up! ahakz, aku ckp mcm betol jer.

2004-09-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

went out wif irda today. i duno abt her but i tink da day was a extremely good one. i duno how to explain wad i'm feeling now. i tink i still love her.

2004-09-21T20:59:00.000+08:00

been bz lately. wif kak long's packing and their designing of da hse. dey got a few quotes n i'm leaving dem 2 decide.

my day started off very well. juz now went 4 another interview in da morn. on da way, met her. we tokked all da way until i reached my stop. we tokked like da old times n i tink it was our lunch together da oth time dat sort of make tings less awkward btw us. she told me why she left da old place and y she took up da offer at her place now altho da place is smaller.

found out dat she noes abt my blog thru a fren and dat she read all abt wad i blog. yah, we tokked and tings was rili like b4. and i'm glad dat she n i r so ok now. we tok like gd frens and we've even made plans 2 go out on sun. who noes rite?

da interview was good. it seemed like meeting her was wad made everyting seem great. aft da interview, met kak long 4 lunch den went home. din go anywhere else coz din hv da mood. juz wanted to tink abt my day 2day. besides, da guys all not free 2day.

2004-09-17T22:42:00.000+08:00

i kp forgetting 2 ask kak long why she kept casting evil eyes at lisa da oth tym. i tink i'll ask her wen she gets home later.

went out with sri ayu this afternoon. quite disappointing, i muz say. i hope she doesnt read dis.

sri ayu's more like someone who's nice to look at but boring and shallow to have a conversation wif. more like a display item. i tink ppl wld kol dis kinda gals a bimbo but i dun tink itz fair 2 call her dat coz she has got brains. i mean, u cnt b a bimbo if u're taking business @ tp rite? i juz tink she doesnt hv a mind of her own or her own opinions or watever. she almost always agrees wif wateva i say and doesnt suggest places to go. da whole time, i wld ask her wer else she wanted 2 go n she'll say itz up 2 me. intresting @ 1st but gets irritating aft awhile. she also doesnt tok abt more important stuff. like my ex and lisa, dey'll tok abt tings dat matter. wad happened in sch, debates, etc. but wif sri ayu, i noticed itz tings like fashion and wat clothes match wif wat. so damn boring!

but i'm not being fair. itz juz a first date so the babe may be nervous. i juz hope tt subsequent dates will b better and not so boring.

2004-09-16T22:54:00.000+08:00

yest was rili tired. came hm ard 9 n checked mail 2 c if i had any oth pending interviews. lucky i chked, rec'd dis new e-mail n cpf asked me 2 cum down 4 interview at 11 morn. so dat means my day had 2 start early yest.

aft da morn interview, wich was forgettable at most, i had abt 4-5 hrs 2 kill b4 my nx 2 interviews, wich both happened 2 b @ raffles place. so i called sam, yong theng n a few others n we watched a movie. aft dat, had lunch @ sakura @ city hall there. was hoping 2 c her but ah! tot better if dun see her. dun want 2 feel unsettled b4 an interview.

at abt 3, we set off 4 raffles place n i muz say dat both interviews @ raffles place went quite well. da 1st one, da interviewer was so impressed by my achievements and testimonials dat she fucking stopped acting haghty wen she opened my file. padan muker. kalo lawa takper jgk, nak berlagak. muka mcm siul, nak berlagak. ah, kan, rasa ko. accent pun hilang! i dun tink i'll accept their offer lah, actuali. interviewer seemed fake n da atmosphere der was too stiffling. da 2nd interview went juz as well n i started off wif a gd impression of da place n dey were happy wif wad dey saw oso. very professional ppl but da downside is dat dey're offering a pretty low starting pay, so datz a bit of a turnoff. altho i may consider dem coz dey implied dat material benefits r gd n i saw sum workers der. all looked happie, i muz sae.

da whole ting ended @ 6, wich was slightly more than enuff time for my interview @ bugis. went down der a few mins early so I managed 2 catch my breath b4 being called in. dis one was ok, nutin special.

aft dat, met a few of da guys who were on da way 2 tp 2 play soccer. so i joined dem n we played wif a few of da s-league players. had a fun game but was damn tired wen i got home.

2day, din do much. juz stayed hm in da morn n played soccer wif da guys in da afternoon. syaid brought his 14 yr old sis along coz he had 2 babysit her or sth. a bit irritating coz she kept flirting wif us n disturbing our concentration. ko tgk lah dk-bdk skrg. baru 14 tahun dah pandai nak flirt. siut tul.

well, da day ended wif chatting wif lisa and making a date wif sri ayu for tomoro.

2004-09-15T21:08:00.000+08:00

TIRED!

2004-09-15T00:43:00.000+08:00

on sat, all of us went 2 mak buyut's hse 4 tuk ngah's kenduri arwah. like i said, mak buyut has dis neighbour whose daughter is a babe! since mak buyut n dat neighbour of hers were v. gd frns, their family came over too n fuh! she looked babelicious!

she helped out like as if it was her relative's kenduri arwah n her family were quite comfy @ mak buyut's hse. and yah, i got 2 noe her better. sri ayu. sedap siul nama! mcm nama typical m'sian kampung girl! ahahahahahha! bt suits her lah. we exchanged nos. n hv been smsing quite a bit these days. who noes eh?

on sun, went to jemputan den we also went to lisa's bro's wedding. lisa looked good, too. maklumlah, bridesmaid! so i spent the whole tym chatting wif lisa n i tink my parents noticed it. dey kept asking me if i'm attached n i had 2 kp telling dem i'm single n still dating ard. i did notice dat kak long kept gvg lisa dis evil eye n she was quite unhappy tt i knew lisa pretty well. i hvnt had da tym 2 ask her abt dat coz aft dat, we were bz wif kak long n abg long's hse. we've all cum up wif quite nice designs n nw itz up 2 dem 2 get quotations 4 da diff designs fr da contractor.

juz nw went 4 an intrvw n dey offered me a job bt i had 2 reject it. dey wantd me 2 b in their a/c dept coz my a/c is gd. din wan da job coz i applied 4 IT n had no interest 4 a/c @ all. bsides, i dun tink dey were sincere anywae. later in da afternoon n evening, i hv 3 oth intrvws. startin 2 get sick of going 4 all these shit. feel lyk juz helping ibu in her biz lyk wad all of dem hv been suggesting. alah, see 1st lah. planning events is not rili my cuppa tea.

2004-09-10T23:53:00.001+08:00

k, since i am nt slpy yt, i'll retype a summary of wad i typed yest b4 fucking blogger deleted da whole damn ting.

on wed, me n hilman went 2 cgh 2 visit hakim. turns out dat he had nt broken his leg, it was juz a sprain. n he can go hm early nx wk. we spent abt half da day der. din noe dat dey recruit babelicious nurses these days, all sg ppl too. saw a minah nurse juz nw n halim tried 2 make frens but she was pretty standoffish. ahaks, budak tgh kerja siul! ahakz.

den aft dat, i met my ite mates @ tamp n we went back 2 ite 2 collect sth fr mdm ng. dat place hasnt changed since i left it, still da same, still hvg minahs n mats. cina, keling n melayu included. we spent abt an hr der den went 2 orchard 2 catch a movie n lepak-lepak.

met an old fren der whose nw studying @ ntu. din recognise her @ first coz she used 2 b like a rebel kind but now.... fuh! kawan dah bertudung siul! wild child jadi minah ferring lak. jambu plak tu. but too bad, org dah bertunang. next yr getting married n i've been invited. gave her my address n hp no. we chatted 4 awhile b4 she had 2 rush off 2 mt sumone. aft watching movie, we lepak-lepak 4 awhile b4 i had to go off 4 a job interview, which was @ tjg pgr.

dis tym, it went quite ok. no racist comments or whatever n dey did seem impressed wif my accomplishments. starting pay oso quite good n their job scope is interesting. if i get da job, dey'll call me by nx week. aft da interview, felt quite exhilarated n wanted 2 share it wif sum1 but tot beta of it. decided to save money until i got a job. no sense in spending my savings, rite? so decided to go hm 2 help kak long wif da packing n mngmt of the design/renovation of her mansionette. on da way hm, met abg long n accompanied him 2 buy dinner b4 gng 2 my hm 2 help dem wif da planning n packing. spent quite a bit of tym @ da comp 2 cum up wif ideas 4 their place n my eyes were hurting so aft every1 called it a day, i called up sum of da guys 2 play street soccer. but all cannot make it or slpg by den, so abg long volunteered 2 "destress" wif me n we played street soccer 4 abt an hr b4 he went hm.

cldnt slp aft all dat so i stayed up 2 watch sum lame malay vcd den got bored n went online. datz wen i blogged abt everything tt i did on wed but blogger was being gay n deleted da whole ting w/o even saving it. imagine lah, dis one oni summary coz i din go into details, so long dah criter. imagine braper pjg my deleted entry was. bugger!

2day isnt worth much 2 blog abt. went 4 another job interview @ bugis dis morn den went 4 friday prayers. den played soccer wif da guys den went 2 mak buyut's hse 2 prepare 4 tuk ngah's kenduri arwah tomoro. reached hm abt 11 juz. hvnt been dating much these days. tokked 2 lisa on da phone awhile ago b4 gng online. she invited me 2 her bro's wedding dis sun. dunno whether 2 go or not coz i dun rili noe her bro. but most prob going lah, coz i hafta go 4 another wedding ard her hse's area anyway. oh yah, juz nw @ mak buyut's hse, i met her neighbour. she has a 19 yr old daughter who's quite a babe. and single and available too. tomoro, i'm gng 2 make further frens wif her!

2004-09-09T02:46:00.000+08:00

blogger is being such a fucker. i typed a LONG ENTRY and wad does it do? it never published da whole fucking entry. and itz nt even in my drafts. fucking gay!

2004-09-08T12:44:00.000+08:00

hakim is fine. visiting him l8r den gng out wif my ite mates.

2004-09-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

takleh tido siak. hilman baru kol. hakim masuk hospital pasal patah kaki main bola. mcm mana siul? bila aku, zaki, hilman dgn dier pergi TM, dier masih bleh jalan siak......

2004-09-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

ok, 2day has been quite a day 4 me. a v. happy day, in fact. but din start well coz 1st, went 4 a job interview @ dis comp firm. farking shit. dun tink will get da job coz dey're tokking abt wanting ppl hu r chinese speaking. siul ah, kalau ko tau aku bukan cina asal ko suroh aku dtg interview siak? buat bingit ajer. so aku aper lagi, kenakan dier balik ah. bloody racist!

so i came out of der feeling damn pissed. called da guys & we played soccer for awhile b4 i had 2 mit zaki n hilman & went TM 2 luk for sum stuff. now, dis is da part where my day went well. on da way der, i saw my ex wif a guy walking towards centutry sq. i muz admit i was very excited 2 c her bt wen i saw da guy wif her, i was juz as disappointed. was abt 2 walk da oth way but decided 2 summon up my courage n juz go tok 2 her. glad i did coz wen i got closer, i realised dat da guy wif her is actuali her bro. damn, he's grown so much, i hardly recognised him. he's actuali taller than her nw! ok, so we tokked & she told me she wanted 2 buy movie tix 2 watch wif her bro. she invited me but becoz i had plans wif hakim n hilman, i declined. besides, i stank like shit coz played soccer wif da guys. we did go 4 lunch 2gether tho n i muz say dat it was an enjoyable one. altho der wer 3 oth guys wif us, it stil felt special 2 me. most prob coz it had been a long time since we last had a proper tok or even a meal 2gether. i duno hw 2 describe it but i rili enjoyed lunch 2day.

aft dat, she left 4 da cinema n i n da guys went 2 TM. itz too soon 2 sort of analyze dis day but yah, was nice.

2004-09-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

aku baru balik dis morn. tuk ngah passed away last mon & we went dwn to take care of da stuff. datz y been away 4 so long. so glad we all managed to see him dat 1 last time.

came hm, caught up on slp den went 2 play soccer.

o yah, kak long & abg long had a tok wif our parents. kak long's decided 2 take her company up on da offer. she's flying off early nx mth & most prob will b der for abt 6mths. so i tink kak long & abg long hve to shelf their wedding plan 2 late nx yr. duno hw we gonna celebrate hari raya w/o her dis yr. da ting abt their flat all settled so i tink ibu & abg long's mother is taking charge of renovation works aft kak long flies off. hmmmm...... aku tak tau apa nak tulis. penatz.

2004-08-28T23:28:00.000+08:00

o..k..... sumhow, der was a miscommunication n instead of us going down 2 m'sia, my aunt n family turned up wif tuk ngah @ our doorsteps around 11 am. no wonder no one was leaving dis morning. so tuk ngah turned up @ our hse & so did our oth relatives. while kak long & my parents entertained dem, i took da chance 2 go back 2 sleep. by da time i woke up past noon, lunch was ready. so apa lagi? bedal lah!

tuk ngah seemed rili weak but somehow, we can tell dat he's happy. mebe family reunions makes him hapi. dey left for m'sia about 5 mins ago. i'll say it was a fruitful day. and not a waste of our journey, too, seeing as we din hafta travel!

2004-08-28T10:22:00.000+08:00

dammit, now itz past 10 n we're still stuck here waiting 4 dem 2 b ready. y do i hve dis feeling dat we're nt even going? if we're nt going dis weekend, we'd better go nx week. tuk ngah wun b alive forever. sumone needs to remind dem dat.

2004-08-28T07:12:00.000+08:00

i came hm at 3 am juz now n had 2 wake up @ 6 becoz we were goin 2 m'sia 2 visit tuk ngah. am so bloody tired n still hafta wait for my other relatives 2 b ready. @ dis rate, i tink we'll oni leave @ fucking 10 am. wasting my bloody time. i could hv slept longer, u noe?

diorang ni sumer tak tau fikir kapa? smalam satu malam siapkan barang, takkan skarang nak berangkat pun delay-delay? siak betul!

2004-08-26T23:15:00.000+08:00

ahakz, i tink itz more interesting 2 blog 1st b4 readin ur tags. i dun go ard tellin ppl abt my blog so i'm very shocked dat her fren happened 2 stumble across it. and her tags r rili v. encouraging. i'm not going to reply there. tink i'll do it here.

yah, i noe abt her blog quite a long time ago. i came across it coz it was linked up by dis gal who had tagged me b4. i've not been updating myself on her coz i forgot who's blog had linked her up. but now tt u've given me her e-diary, i'll update myself. thkz. u say she's working @ da city hall area nw? so my fren was rite; he did see her. and dat ups my "wasted chance" feeling even more. i juz nd 2 noe wad u mean wen u say tt i still hve a chance. by da way, i'm assuming dat u r her fren since u seem 2 noe quite a bit abt her. yah, thkz again.

i dunno if u r "a passerby" oso but anyway, my reply is dat i din said i luv her. mebe i do bt i duno nw if itz luv or juz an infatuation. we wld hafta go out 4 me 2 ans dat. all i noe is dat she is on my mind almost 24/7 & i date gals hu remind me of her. mebe i juz need 2 get her out of my system and i tink da oni way 2 do dat is 4 us 2 go out @ least once. till den, i'll kp harping on da fact dat i chased da perfect gal out of my life.

2004-08-26T22:46:00.000+08:00

had a long talk wif kak long wen she came hm fr work juz nw. i forced her 2 tell me wad has been bothering her. glad 2 say tt itz nt coz of a quarrel wif abg long. her company is offering her a temp post to perth for 6 mths & kak long is worried. according 2 her, da perks r good. dey'll gv her accommodatn, transport & allowance, aside fr her pay. der are oth tings lyk a laptop, international call allowance & sum other shits lar. wad kak long is worried abt is food & being away fr hm for so long. i told kak long dat derz no harm in taking up da offer since itz oni for 6 mths. itz nt like she & us will b apart for more than a yr. i mean, da agreement is 6 mths, so if dey wanna extend it, she can decline wad. spoke 2 her abt a lot of tings & da pros & cons of taking up da offer. den abg long came & i left da 2 of dem together 2 tok. both dey & my parents r hvg a discussion nw & i duno wad da decision is. wadeva it is, i noe kak long juz wants support & sum confidence. aft all, she has nv gone 2 a faraway country by herself b4.

2004-08-26T03:41:00.000+08:00

i've been up since 2 am, trying 2 find a way 2 slp more comfortably. my throat's hurting & my body's aching. i noe itz nt coz of da soccer game coz itz nt like i've nt been playing 4 weeks den suddenly start again. another reason i cnt slp is coz i'm worried 4 kak long. lately, she has been looking very depressed & abg long refuses 2 tell me why. i asked my parents but both juz keep mum. mebe dey duno or mebe dey r keeping sumting fr me. fuck lah. aku dah besar siul, apa nak simpan-simpan lagi???? bingit sak. i'm afraid if abg long & kak long had a fight. oh, dey hv had quarrels b4 bt kak long nv looked as depressed as dis tym. aku worried, betul-betul worried.

2004-08-25T18:28:00.000+08:00

been listening to P10 since i came hm fr soccer juz nw & 1 song is indefinitely stuck 2 my head nw. makes me kp tinking of da situation wif me & my ex.

The Reason - by Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

to you. if you happen 2 read dis, i'm really sorry. fr da bottm of my heart.

2004-08-24T18:36:00.000+08:00

was supposed 2 go out wif lisa 2day bt din hve da mood 2. i duno y, duno if it was becoz i saw her on sun. or izit becoz 1 of my frens casually told me he saw sum1 hu resembled my ex. he said it was on mon, wen we were on da way 2 peninsular plaza. dis feeling i hve nw is like a wasted chance kinda feeling. da chance of seeing her again bt missed it. but i noe he saw da wrong person coz she's working in raffles place, not city hall. so when lisa SMS me 2 confirm if we're mtg, i told her i cldnt make it. feel like such a jerk rite nw bt i noe i will b more of a jerk if i go out wif her, knowing i wun concentrate on da outing.

ended up playing soccer wif my ITE mates instead.

2004-08-23T18:28:00.000+08:00

went out wif my da ITE guys juz nw. din go anywer worth blogging abt. juz went 2 city link @ city hall den aft dat, i met kak long 4 lunch while dey went 2 penisular shopping ctr 2 lk 4 soccer stuff. aft lunch, went 2 orchard 2 lepak-lepak. den in da evening, followed ibu 2 aunt's hse 2 collect sum tings. been quite a boring day, i muz say.

2004-08-22T20:42:00.000+08:00

went out wif da guys aft playing soccer. played @ aiman's hse, wich is @ wdlands. aft tt, we went 2 causeway pt 4 dinner. on da way der, i bumped into my ex bt she din notice me. juz said sorry den walked away. itz like a stab in my heart 4 tt 2 happen. fortunately, da guys din c wad had happened. oni abg shah. bt den, he saw her oni, nt wad happened. i noe he saw her becoz abg shah told me he saw "awet ko".

i din realise hw much i'd missed her. seeing her again made me remember hw cute she was. a bit upset tt she din notice me & hv no way of letting her noe tt da person she bumped into was me. actuali, i tried calling her hm bt it was engaged. tot she had a double line so was quite surprised tt da line was engaged. mebe she's changed her no. i dunno.

seeing her again. wanna see her again......

2004-08-20T09:09:00.000+08:00

da last time i updated was 2 mths ago. dat was during da euro 2004 qualifiers. so, evry1 noes greece won. seems like da yr of da underdogs. now, greece is hosting da olympics & i dun see dem winning medals. mebe dey hv bt it has got 2 b insignificant 4 me nt 2 notice! muahahah! i hv so much free tym nw dat i'm outta NS. datz why i can follow da stupid olympic games lyk nobody's biz. da whole of dis mth, been lazing ard or playing soccer wif da guys. nt intending 2 lk 4 a job yt. i'm gonna start doing dat nx wk. 4 nw, i'm resting my arse off 1st.

kak long & abg long finali found their "dream hse". itz a mansionette @ pasir ris & i muz say tt itz a v. gd choice. da paperwork & everything else will be settled early nx mth & datz oso wen dey will start da renovation. dis is kak long's fave part - designing. hahahah! also, ibu & abah were tinking of bringing fwd kak long & abg long's wedding since dey've oredi found their hse. according 2 abg long, his mum oso agrees 2 tt coz since dey've found a hse, mite as well live in in a.s.a.p & nt wait 4 a yr 2 do tt. o/w it'll b a waste. i tend 2 agree bt i'm keeping my mouth shut. nanti org cakap aku menyibuk ajer. leaving it all 2 da adults. bt if kak long asks me for my opinion, i'll tell her of coz.

letz see, if renovation starts in late september, evryting can b done by december or jan. so tt means kak long can start putting in/buying furnitures by den. so tt oso means dey can get married nx yr! muahaha, den i can hv her big rm!

okla, impossible la coz dey definitely need tym 2 save up 4 da hse & wedding so datz why dey were tinking of bringing fwd their wedding to 2006 instead of 2007. aku tak kisah. asalkan kakak aku bahagia sua.

tonite, me & da guys will b playing soccer opp TP. been a long tym since we played der. usuali we're juz playin outside dat dumb tamp stadium oni. dat place actuali holds sum grt memories 4 me. been playing der since sec skool & itz abt da oni place dat hasn't changed in tamp. ahhh, chit. so jiwang!

2004-06-26T18:53:00.000+08:00

wtf?!?! england is out! dammit! den again, y am i so pissed? i expected it! ah, heck! i'm gona play soccer in 1/2 an hr.

2004-06-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

oh, and b4 i logg off, i juz wana say tt england team sux 2 da core. dey'll nvr win euro 2004 if dis is hw dey continue playing. blardie beckham and his gayish team. i'm still supporting england and praying 4 a miracle tho.

2004-06-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

juz realised tt i hvnt been to friendster 4 quite awhile. i rem hw friendster was da start of my fights wif her. we were gd as frens and i wanted more, knowing tt she doesnt. man, was i stupid! i actually messaged all the people in her friendster list to ask abt her. now tt i tink of it, it was a blardie dumb move. of coz her frens wun sae, rite? dumb dumb dumb. no matter, she and i r on tokking terms again. who noes wad may cum of it?

wich brings me to lisa. she's such a grt gal. went out wif her and dis time, i can call it a date. we just chatted over dinner and i got to noe more abt her. turns out she's sumhw related to sean. she likes all those girly tings bt sumhw, dey dun irk me. once in awhile, as she speaks, i find myself comparing lisa to her. which is not fair. but da way they speak is so alike. mebe datz why i hv a liking 4 lisa. which is oso why i dun wanna commit coz i'm afraid tt wad i'm starting 2 feel 4 her is juz memories of my ex. wun b fair 4 her if 1 day i realise tt den tell her we shd cool off rite? so i tink i better back off fr any r'ship so i can dun confuse my feelings. eeh, so jiwang lar. so gay! but noe wad? i rili nd 2 noe, so i'm hoping my ex and i can mt up 1 day. juz 4 a tok. may b a bad move or a gd one, dunno lah eh?

dis is so sucky. juz wish i hadnt been so fucking dumb da oth tym. had da perfect gal. damn!

____________________

tomoro i'm gng out again to help kak long and abg long wif ideas for their wedding and the search for a mansionette or condo. so troublesome. but itz gd dat dey're nt gng shopping. o/w i'll leave everything to abg long.

i wanna play soccer but i guess i'll hv to blardie postpone it to nx week. damn, gals r so troublesum. and yt we cnt live w/o dem. chhe! oklah, mebe datz nt fair. us guys r juz as troublesum SOMETIMES. nt all da time. MUAHAHAHAH!

muz wake up early tmr, unless we're leaving in da aftnoon. den i hv time to slp in. r u counting down the day i'm outta NS? i noe i am!

2004-06-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

had a tiring dae. went 2 jemputan @ yishun in da morn den played soccer dis aft.

euro 2004 has started. yest being da 1st game - host portugal lost to greece. haha, padan muka! england's playing soon. england's team getting fr bad to worst bt i'm still supporting england. haha!

ok, bye. tired oredi.

2004-06-09T13:17:00.000+08:00

now it's june. 1 more mth b4 i am OUT OF NS!

ok, on sunday, went out wif my msian relatives to orchard wif ibu n ayah. most of dem were fussing over kak long n abg long, all excited dat she's oredi engaged. gd 4 me la coz dey're too bz 2 ask ME wen i'm getting married.

the weather has been cooling. no more hot humid weather. today, i've been excused fr camp coz I've got a doctor's apptmt. thank god it was nuting.

i duno why i'm blogging wen i've got nutin much to update @ dis point.

2004-06-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

ibu's cousins from m'sia came over last nite & ibu managed 2 get dem 2 stay here instead of @ da hotel. dey had 2 cancel their booking and, i tink, pay a certain fee but dey seem hapi 2 do tt. haha. no hotel can beat ibu's cooking, man! haha!

din do much 2dae. went out wif my m'sian relatives, played da ever-willing tourist guide and played soccer in da evening wif da guys. brought my nephews along as well. damn, dey play well despite being mere teenagers! m'sia muz hve all da facilities in da world 2 train kiddos like dem! it was da best game we had so far.

tml, we're playing tour guides again. ibu & ayah were tinking of bringing dem 2 walk ard @ orchard dis time. we've oredi brought dem ard da heartlands of sg, so y nt town area nw? haha! more gal-watching 4 me, too!

2004-06-02T07:06:00.000+08:00

going out wif my family + abg long later 2 get sum ideas 4 kak long's wedding. dey've yet 2 set a date bt kak long said tt itz prob gonna be in 2006. i told her 2 hv it after or b4 da world cup season coz if not, nobody will cum 2 her wedding! muahaha! den she told me tt mebe dey'll hv it world-cup themed & thanked me 4 da idea! gila sak! world cup eh? tak pernah aku tgk.

kak long & abg long planning 2 buy a condo or 2nd-hand mansionette so we're viewing sum houses as well later. was actually planning on playing soccer wif da guys bt had 2 postpon it coz of dis. oh well, later!

2004-06-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

went out wif lisa juz nw. dis tym, it wasnt a grp outing, juz she n i. hanging out. wun call it a date coz it wasnt. juz happened 2 bump into her @ da pasir ris mrt statn & went 4 dinner wif her.

had a gd tym. got 2 noe a lot abt her. was tinking dat even if we cnt b steads, @ least she'll make a gd buddy. bt itz too soon 2 tok abt all dis. nt ready 4 another r'ship yt.... nt tt she's hinting @ it lar.

siak. skarang radio asyik main lagu jiwang siol! nostalgia......... argh! here i go again, tinking abt her. dammit!

2004-05-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

so fast itz gng 2 b end of the mth. come july, i'll b out! so near yet so far..... 2 mths!!!! den.... freedome, her i cum!

2004-05-16T10:18:00.000+08:00

i'm hapi wif da premier league dis season. chelsea finished 2nd of da table ABOVE MAN U! hahaha! suckers! letz hope chelsea finish tops nx season!

goning 2 play soccer wif da guys. later!

2004-05-14T23:48:00.000+08:00

went out wif sakina again juz nw. dunno y she still wans 2 mt up wen i've made it clear 2 her dat i've no interest in her. kept tellin her dat i was too tired 2 go out 2day bt she insisted we go out 2day. blardie fuck!

we went 2 bugis 4 dinner. den walked ard n she juz rambled on n on abt her week. hwshe spent mother's day wif her relatives n den hw dey kept asking her 2 get a bf or wen she's getting married, hw she was so frustrated wiff all dat bla bla bla. @ 1 point, i was feeling so irritated dat i asked her, "so? wadz all tt got 2 do wif me?" n i tink she got da hint coz she finali kept quiet n den der was dis awkward silence btw us as we walked ard bugis.

i felt bad bt i cnt help it. if she's trying 2 get me 2 b her bf, den cum strait 2 da point lar. wad 4 beat ard da bush, rite? sumore, i've oredi made it clear 2 her b4 dat i'm nt interested 2 go into a r'ship yt. coz of my ex n my campaign 2 win her back n all dat shit. another reason dat has cropped up nw is coz of dis gal i met thru sean, lisa. she seems like a rili nice gal. not boring kinda nice bt, i duno, sincere n funny kinda nice. we went out onli once in a grp n i enjoyed her company da most. we do kp in contact by sms but itz nt so often. prob coz of ns 4 me, n 4 her, coz of work n sch.

so all da way hm, it was dis awkward silence. on my part, i was tinking of hw 2 repeat 2 sakina dat i dun like her w/o sounding mean. on her part, she was throwing a tantrum. all da more so coz i wasn't taken in. i duno y she juz isnt da kinda gal 4 me; mebe coz of her minah-minah n too straightforward ways. i mean, i like honesty bt dis gal is juz too straightforward in da sense dat she leads in a r'ship. her prev r'ships all initiated by her. i noe itz ego dat makes me nt like her as a special gf, bt.. i duno... she rili is nt my type.

perhaps i may nv find sum1 like irda coz no 2 ppl r da same. bt.. i duno. i'm still hopin ta get back wif her. yt i'm oso workin 2 date oth gals so dat..... hw do i explain dis?.... perhaps if she n i cnt get back 2gether or r nt meant 2 b 2gether, itz coz i've oredi found another luv of my life.

ah, waddaheck lar. dammit!

2004-05-10T20:53:00.000+08:00

for mother's day, we bought ibu a necklace from golden chance. den we went 2 cafe veena 4 lunch n a little walk-ard @ orchard; and later went 2 tm 2 buy back food 4 dinner so ibu doesnt hv 2 cook.

2004-05-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

it's confirmed. dis yr we're gona make mother's day special. prolly coz abah and kak long both got increments end last yr. we going to sum restaurant at dis scotts hotel dat abah book juz nw. i tink itz cafe veena or sthg.

i'm rili unhappy wif my present 4 ibu. i told dem to make dis plaque wif her pic n sum quotes but da colours all turn out wrong. oklah, so it's nice but i'm stil not hapi altho dey lemme hv a discount. i'm going wif kak long tomoro ta buy another present. we're sharing wif abah, prolly buying jewellery. golden chance, mebe. duno lah.

2004-05-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

niari ako gi collect ibu nyer present. mcm siak. tak turn mcm ako suroh diorang buat. walaupun cantik, tapi aku tak satisfied. kena buat bising baru diorang takut. baru nak kasi offer. dah tak nak gi tmpt tu lagi. tak guna nyer tmpt. bawak mak aku makan kat banquet lagi bagus sial.

2004-05-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

speaking of wich...... ako lum collect ibu nyer present. mcm takder mood lah nak celebrate2 benda ni sumer

2004-05-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

duno y, been online almost evryday nw. suddenly like so into blogging. mcm pompuan siak.

ok, smalam ako gi main bola ngan diorang. bebudak s-league ader kat saner, so boleh tahan ah. quite fun. pastu gi makan kat mcdonalds ngan badan peluh2 sumer. melekit siak! pas makan, gi TM lak. nak dpt aircon nyer pasal. jln2 sampai kol 3 ptg, tak tahan so aku balik dulu. nasib baik aku balik cpt siol! mak bpk ako dah tunggu2, muka satu2 masam siol. biler aku tanya kenapa, sumer taknak jawab, muka sumer masam. baru aku teringt. niari kena pegi rumah nenek! siak! ako boleh tak bawak hp ni. mcm sial. pasal aku, smua tak jadi gi rumah nenek.

tapi 2day ok sikit ah. abah cuti so ibu & abah gi rumah nenek. nanti sabtu ni gi lagi. mother's day lah konon.

2004-05-02T10:38:00.000+08:00

am going 2 play soccer wif da guys later. s-league players will b der too. kewl!

2004-05-01T20:36:00.000+08:00

bloody hell! nw i noe y abg long hates it wen he accompanies kak long shopping!

left hm @ 11 am. came hm abt 7pm. 8 fucking hrs!

dammit, my feet r hurting.

2004-04-30T23:18:00.000+08:00

am blardie tired bt i cnt slp. and i hafta go out wif kak long tml. lost a farking bet wif her n now hafta go shopping wif her n abg long 4 sum stuff for their wedding. duno y dey r shopping so soon, their wedding in 3 yrs time wad. nak cepat2 buat aper siol? ok, so mebe itz not as ez as i tot. i rem hw diff planning for da engagement was, but dat was coz dey brought it fwd n so oni haf abt 3 mths ta plan it wad. now dey hv 3 yrs!!!!!! chit!

i juz hope dat itz not gona b as troublesum as her engagement. den again, wedding always more grand den engagement. so mebe itz gd dat dey start early. ahhh.... i juz farking wish i hadnt lost da bet wif her, den i dun hafta go shopping wif kak logn n abg long. i wan to sleep!!!!!!!!

i hope dey decide ta shop in the afternoon!!!! i wan ta sleep!

2004-04-25T15:17:00.000+08:00

i'm so restless nw. cnt play soccer wif da guys coz all r studying. fark, am i da oni one in ns nw?? chit! nvm, anor 3 mths n i'm out!

2004-04-17T16:34:00.000+08:00

my ex and i r back on tokking terms. mebe itz a start of sthg bt i dare nt hope so much. neway, i'm not as hung up on her as i used to be. i tink.

i've been gng out wif dis gal i met thru sean. she's a babe n she's rili an intresting person. mebe others will call her a freak bt i tink she's very artistic. hahhaa. a bit weird, tho. bt an enjoyable person 2 b wif. i dare not lead her on or make commitments coz my heart is still wif my ex.

i'm gng to play soccer wif de guys later.

2004-04-01T18:33:00.000+08:00

ive been feeling down in de dumps lately. went 2 my fren's 21st bday party last sat. expected to see my ex der coz she's gd frens wif dat fren of mine - juli. bt she wasnt der. don tink dey quarrelled coz irda's present 4 juli was der. i missed her,dat means. dammit. met up wif sum of my ite mates aft da party & we went riding. dat din help. shitty.

fark lah. i hate it wen i'm feeling like dis. so insecure. so farking easily irritated.

neway, went out wif dis gal i met thru sean. her name's lisa. quite cute. it was a grp outing. she's an interesting person too. we exchanged numbers. i juz hope dis is the start of a gd f'ship n hu noes? mebe irda will no longer b on my mind 24/7.

2004-03-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

i juz found out dat my ex has an e-diary. been updating myself abt her..... she doesnt seem hapi these days, i wish i can b der 4 her..... she's not wif sean apparently. bagos ah... hapi sikit aku.....

i've bn feeling abit sick lately, cld b da flu bug ismael passed 2 me. will go doctor tomoro.

2004-03-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

slept 4 10 hrs n now i cnt slp @ all. dammit.... n tomolo i haf 2 go back 2 camp. well, actuali itz technically 2day. ah, waddaheck.....

juz got off da line wif ismael. seems like da flu bug is going round now. isk..... so he wun b in camp tomoro. lucky arse.

2004-03-07T09:09:00.000+08:00

played soccer til 2 am yest, so we din manage to watch the fa cup. abg long told me man utd menang siak. sioooolllllllll!

not going out 2day. i've told da guys dat i'm too tired to leave da hse. sakina din seem too hapi but, oh heck.... too tired to care. going to sleep now. *yawns*

2004-03-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

auntie ika's wedding was very fine. kak long made special effort to dress up coz auntie ika is like her godma or sth. dun rili noe da story.

i met auntie ika's cousin, nurzaidah. she's 18 n studying @ np. accounting, i tink. nur seems like a nice gal; manis n eloquent. sth like my ex. sakina was der too. turns out sakina n nur r related. small world! sakina asked if i was still single. wen i said no, she asked me out tomolo. beginning to b convinced dat sakina's not my type. ako tak suka pompuan mcm dier; so forthrite. but as a fren, she's ok.

i'm gng out wif dem, shafiq n azim tomolo. oklah, not bad; @ least in a grp. aft da wedding on da way hm, i cannot help tinking abt her n wondering if i shd email her instead of sending da ltr. evrytime i tink of her, i feel so shitty. i duno y i'm so into her wen der r others out der. been dating oth gals but still feel she's da one. i sound so sappy now. grrrrrrr.

ako nak main soccer nanti mlm ngan da boys. pastu kiter tgk soccer. ako harap man u kalah siak. hahaha

2004-03-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

i had another quarrel wif her da oth day. i tink she hates me. cant blame her, can i? i muz haf seem like sum desperado wen i did dat friendster tingy. i've decided to mail her da ltr i wrote. i hope it'll make tings better.

luking back, i rili regret da day i shouted @ her. i realise now dat she was rite. but itz too late. she may not even b frens wif me now.

kak long tried introducing me to her fren's daughter dis aft. mebe she's trying to help me forget her. bless her. but itz not helping. i find myself comparing dem n no matter wad, i always conclude dat irda's better. call me unfair n biased. wadever.

cant slp now. dammit. n tomolo we haf to go to a wedding. fuck fuck fuck!

2004-03-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

on mc 2dae.

went to swensens dis evening wif kak long, abg long n shafinaz (abg long's 12 yr old niece). da food der not bad. i tried da crayfish pasta; i tink it shd b more pedas. den power! kak long had da baked rice. it luk n smelt nice. taste was not bad. very cheesy!

da ppl nx 2 our table were v. noisy n we cldnt enjoy da food like we shd haf. kids! grrrr.... sum1 shd ban dem fr swensens! in da end, abg long went up 2 dem n politely told dem to keep it dwn. luckily dey did, o/w i wld haf told dem off (kak long knew wad i was tinking n she had a hand on my arm to restrain me, in case). neway, we did enjoy dinner. ibu n ayah shd haf been here. dey wld like da food! too bad dey had to be at sum 'ceramah'.

went hm @ 9 pm. so tired. tomolo muz go back to camp. haizzz.....

2004-02-29T16:38:00.000+08:00

played soccer wif my sec sch frens juz now. glad 2 c dat i hvnt lost my touch despite so many mths in ns! hahah!

speaking of ns, i'll b out in 5 mths time! yipee!!!!

2004-02-21T02:32:00.000+08:00

msg her frens on friendster. her frens r so gallant, itz bad 4 me. all dun wan 2 tell me if she's attached/changed her no. but her cousin n a few others was kind enuff to gv me sum info.

i msg her again da oth time. we tokked on da fon but it turned ugly. i noe i'm @ fault. geez, since wen am i so desperate???? i mean, i haf no lack of admirers. y am i so stuck 4 dis 1 gal?

dammit.

2004-02-15T17:10:00.000+08:00

ako excited siak! i tink i sure goin to msg her frens on friendster n hopefully will get sum ans. tapi datz not wad ako excited about. sean ckp kita main soccer dgn bebudak s league. cam tol jer. ako dah lama tak train..... boleh up 2 standard ke tdk eh.....

2004-02-14T02:03:00.000+08:00

itz v-day. i rem hw my ex n i spent dis day coz our anniversary happened to fall on da same day. memories.....

wanted to go out wif her 2day bt she has sth on. she's goin back to tp wif her frens. tot of going wif her but itz stoopid. she wun like it. she'll b in da company of her frens while i hang ard waiting 4 her 2 b free. no way! will b playing soccer wif da others tomolo tonite. i haf sean n aiman on my team. sure winner!

i tink friendster's a gd ting. i may juz msg her friends n ask abt her. hopefully, i'll get sth. hopefully.....

2004-01-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

had a tiring day. *yawns*

sis got engaged n she look nice. ok, ok..... she luk very nice - beautifool! n it was an exciting tym. her frens all came over. all of us helped out n da gifts looked very grand.

i duno wad else to sae..... but i noe i cannot wait to see her get married. den i can haf her rm!!!!! hahah...... and oso mebe an anak sedara. 3 yrs tym.... 3 yrsss :)

2004-01-23T08:16:00.000+08:00

ako jumpa dier smalam kat kitorang nyer bbq. dier tak nampak ako. dier dgn family dier; tgh bz main dgn sedara. nak approach tapi mcm byk sgt org kat sana. lagipun, ako tak bawak surat tu. din expect her 2 b der.....

oth than tt, bbq was fine. it was actuali fun tapi ako spend most of da time lalu tmpt dier, hoping she'll see me. kol hp dier tapi ako rasa adik dier pakai pasal he yg angkat hp.

newae, mak ngah gave birth to another boy. dah 5 dah anak dier..... smgt seh mak ngah! hahaha.... dier bawak pi bbq, sumer attn kat baby. sedih sak, makanan pun lupa. ako apa lagi.... jadi chef sehari ah........ cheh, cam tol jer...... chef for a few hrs jer.... pastu gi cycling ngan sedara ako yg lain. datz wen i happened to pass by her family's bbq pit. pointed her out to da guys n dey said i was dumb 2 haf broken up wif her. dey said she luk so swt n cheerful. i haf to agree.... i always knew... but wad da helll..... ego nyer pasal..... dumbfuck, i am!

almost gado ngan abg shah. dier nak approach her n ask 4 her no. siak.... i admit i was jelez oso, but wad i was most afraid off is nanti buat scene kat sana. knowing irda, she sure wun give her no. to strangers. n knowing shah, he sure buat kecoh. nasib baik bila ako pekik kat abg shah, dier paham perasaan ako. anyway, sedara. gado-gado pun baik smula; bak kata pepatah: air dicincang tidak akan putus.

datz it i guess. seeing her again juz emphasised hw much i miss her...

2004-01-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

shit.

wanted to go out wif her on her bday bt forgot it was a tues. cldnt book out in time. told her too late bt she was fine wif it. oh well....

wrote her a ltr on my dream n hw i realised i still luved her. duno if i shd gv her. i dun wan our frenship to go lidat - coz altho we're no longer together, we r still gd frens. dun wana lose dat if i told her i wanted a patch.

ako stress siak!